Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Wife to Wife Wednesday: Lingerie for Christians

Good morning! 
Welcome to Wife to Wife Wednesday, the day that we discuss any and all issues relating to marriage. 

This month my husband and I celebrate 5 years of marriage! In honor of that facet, I have been focusing my Wife to Wife Wednesday posts on physical intimacy in marriage. You can read the intro here and last week we talked about Body Image in the Marriage Bed

This week I want to tackle where to buy lingerie when you are a Christian woman.  

I have three small children so going into a store to buy just about anything is difficult, but it is especially difficult when I have to try things on! So when it comes to buying anything that I wear, I almost always buy it online. 

I don't know about you but trying to buy lingerie can be a super frustrating and embarrassing experience if you aren't super careful. 

I really do not want to see what is essentially pornography when I am trying to find an outfit to share with my husband. If you type in lingerie you will get a whole host of images that you just really don't want to see. So, where can a Christian woman go to buy lingerie without feeling gross or skeezy and at the same time not just trusting amazon? 

Let me tell you about my two favorite places!

I came across Virtuous Weddings that has a list of places where you can buy lingerie. This blog breaks each website down based on modesty of the images presented, sizes available, how... enticing the lingerie is. I think it is brilliant and could be a great tool for any wife looking to surprise her husband with something fun while also not exposing herself to imagery she really doesn't need to see.

I am in love with the website Honoring Intimates. I think that their lingerie is fun, affordable, and presented modestly. I love the fact that they don't assume Christian women are just looking for floor length nightgowns. Most of us want pretty, flirty, fun outfits to wear too, and HI delivers! They also go from size 2 to size 20, which means almost everyone can find what they are looking for. They also have a subscription option where each month you will get a brand new outfit (is that the right term??) delivered to your door! 


Don't be afraid to wear fun clothing in the marriage bed. Nothing in the Bible says that lingerie is wrong between a husband and a wife. Try out various things, ask your husband what he likes (with the modest images you can be comfortable showing him what you are thinking about!) and just have fun with it! 

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Title Tuesday: Rethinking Sexuality

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

Today, I want to talk about sex.

Wait! It is Title Tuesday. Why are we talking about sex?!?

The answer is, sex permeates our culture and with good reason. God gave us sex to be an awesome experience between a man and woman in the bounds of holy matrimony.  Sex and sensual imagery is all over our society, but not in the way that God designed it. It is assaulting our minds on billboards, oozing into our homes via television, and commandeering the screens on our computers. 

Because of the prevalence of rape, infidelity, homosexuality, transgenderism, pornography, and just plain lust, sex is a topic that the Christian church should be addressing regularly, and yet in most churches it is almost never addressed. 

That is why I want to tell you about Dr. Juli Slattery's newest book, Rethinking Sexuality. Dr. Slattery takes a hard stance on sexual brokenness and the effect that it has on a believer's life. This book is specifically geared towards Bible-believing Christians. On page 8 of Rethinking Sexuality Slattery states, 

The focus has been on compelling teenagers to stay virgins and exposing the many ways that sexuality translates into sin. Because we tend to address sexuality with this problem-solving approach, we divide people into categories of virgins and sinners, sexually whole and sexually broken. If you found yourself in the wrong category, church was the last place that you wanted to seek help. 

This resonates SO MUCH with me and this is just from the first chapter! 

Slattery spends the rest of the book explaining that sexual discipleship should be prevalent in every church congregation. Se also does a fabulous job of explaining exactly how our sexuality interfaces with our theology and our beliefs about God. This book is not written for one gender or another. Instead this book is designed to help bring light into the shadowy places that we as Christians think that God should not be. (As if He doesn't already know about it????) Slattery forces the readers to change their way of thinking about sexuality to help Christian better model sacred sexuality rather than a shame filled secret to be hidden away.

Overall, I give Rethinking Sexuality a solid A+. I think this book is something that literally every Christian should read. It doesn't matter if you are single, newly married, or celebrating your golden anniversary. This book has tools and resources to help you to model your sexuality after the inventor of sexuality and to stand firm in the face of society's pressure to conform to worldly sexuality. 

This book becomes available next week, July 24th. but you can pre-order it on Amazon here, and I totally recommend doing that! 

I received a free advanced copy of this book in exchange for my unbiased review.
All thoughts are entirely my own.  

Monday, July 16, 2018

Military Monday: Benjamin L. Salomon

Welcome to another Military Monday!

Upon marrying a military man I learned that there is a LOT to know about life as a military spouse. Mondays are my day to talk about the things I am learning, the new language, military news and current events. Sometimes I post encouraging videos, stories, and cartoons as well.


Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Wife to Wife Wednesday: Body Image in the Marriage Bed

Good morning! 

Welcome to Wife to Wife Wednesday, the day that we discuss any and all issues relating to marriage. 

Today is the first edition of our series on Keeping the Spark Burning in Your Marriage and I am SO excited to jump in!

As I said in my series introduction last week, sex is a super important part of marriage. It is an incredible gift that can be amazing... but it can also be devastating when it doesn't go well. One of the number one complaints that I have heard from women in our fitness ministry is that they don't want to have sex because they are uncomfortable with their bodies. 

So what do you do when your view of your body negatively impacts your desire to have sex?  

Let me start by saying that I have totally been there. I have had three (9+ pound) babies in less than 3.5 years. 
I know exactly what it is like to not want to have sex because you don't like your body. 

My first word of advice to not deny your spouse affection just because you don't like what you see in the mirror. We (as women) tend to be VERY self critical and we don't want our husbands to see the "ugly" parts. More than likely your spouse doesn't even notice the things that you don't like about your body. He just wants to be with you. Don't let your body hold you back from him,  if you think HE doesn't like it. I promise, he likes your body just fine.

Now, I know I just said that your spouse probably doesn't even notice the things that you don't like about your body , but you do. In that case, I think it is totally ok to pursue health and fitness.  Little changes one step at a time can help you to love your body more. Next week I will be talking about how to pick out lingerie without feeling gross or sketchy about it, and that can be a HUGE confidence boost for your body image. 

Here is how I pursue positive body image in the marriage bed:

1.) Meal Plan
Meal planning is the number one way I recommend to my athletes to help them get rid of unwanted body fat. The reason for that is because having a plan for healthy and nutritious food prevents you from wanting to run through the drive-thru really quickly on your way home. 80% of your body composition is built on your diet... not the gym. I have this meal planner and I really like it. It is simple and easy to follow. You can find a TON of meal planning binders, planners and organizers on Pinterest. Try one or two out and find a system that works for you and your family. Make sure that you are eating plenty of vegetables and 9 times out of 10 that will make a huge difference in body fat composition.

2.) Meal Prep
I am a huge fan of meal prepping. Once you have planned out what your meals are going to be you need to assemble the ingredients in a way that makes sense for your family. I LOVE crockpot meals, especially since we have a little baby currently. I prep these Freezable Crockpot Meals about once every three months. They are great for the days that I just don't feel like cooking. I simply cut open the bag, dump them into the crockpot and walk away. This is the crockpot that I use.  

3.) Move your body. 
It doesn't matter if you are going for a light walk around the neighborhood or if you are trying to max-out your power clean. You need to be moving your body every single day. My recommendation for most women is to get up out of your chair and move at least once an hour. If you are the mom of little, when they play you play. If your two year old squats, you squat. If they are running races, run with them. Get up and be active. Get a yoga DVD to do in your home. Invite your husband to go on a walk with you after dinner. There are entire boards on Pinterest dedicated just to fitness. Check them out and get creative. 

4.) Make a list.
Make a list of all of your best attributes. Do you have fabulous eyes? Do you always see the best in people? Does your hair curl really well? Do you always remember people's birthdays and anniversaries? Do you have a gorgeous jawline? Do you manage your finances really well? Do you keep a clean home? Are your kids super well behaved? Ask your friends for help if you need it, bur physically write out a list of the awesome things about you. I bet your husband cares a whole lot more about those things than he does about the fact that you haven't lost that last 15 pounds yet. 

Finally, let me say, you are a beautiful gift from God. Your body is unique and wonderful. In the world hat we live in today we have been fed a line that if you don't look like the images in the magazines, movies, or porn, then you aren't attractive. 

I am here to tell you that is a load of crap. Don't you dare believe it.
You are a beautiful woman of God pursuing intimacy with your husband. You have nothing to be ashamed of with your body, even if there are parts that you don't like. Do not let your body hold you back from enjoying a brilliant sex life with your husband. 



Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Title Tuesday: How Does a Busy Mom Make Time To Read?

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

On today’s Title Tuesday we are pulling an article from the archives about the #1 question I get on my blog... 

"How does a busy mom make time to read?" 

Check out my tips and tricks below!

http://forgivenformerfeminist.blogspot.com/2017/07/How-does-a-busy-mom-make-time-to-read.html?m=1




Monday, July 9, 2018

Military Monday: How Far Would You Go?

Welcome to another Military Monday!

Upon marrying a military man I learned that there is a LOT to know about life as a military spouse. Mondays are my day to talk about the things I am learning, the new language, military news and current events. Sometimes I post encouraging videos, stories, and cartoons as well.


Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Wife to Wife Wednesday: Keeping the Spark Burning

Good morning! 
Welcome to Wife to Wife Wednesday, the day that we discuss any and all issues relating to marriage. 

I am so glad that you have joined me today, This month my husband and I celebrate 5 years of marriage! In honor of that facet, I am going to be focusing my next 6  Wife to Wife Wednesday posts on physical intimacy in marriage.  

The information that I will be sharing here each week will be geared towards helping married couples have a better and more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Wait! Why am I focusing on sex during Wife to Wife Wednesday? 

The answer is simple. 

Sex is an awesome gift from God, but it can also be a super frustrating part of marriage. This is a delicate topic that almost every marriage struggles with from time to time and for different reasons and yet it is an area that is rarely discussed in church! 

We will spend the next six weeks talking about how to keep the spark burning in your marriage by covering the following topics:
  • Where to buy lingerie that doesn’t make you feel skeezy
  • How body image issues impact your marriage
  • Getting out of the boring married rut, the intimacy app
  • When pornography creeps into your marriage bed
  • How to chose contraceptives, and honor God
  • How to keep intimacy alive when you are in the baby years

Monday, July 2, 2018

Military Monday: Why the 4th of July?

Welcome to another Military Monday!

Upon marrying a military man I learned that there is a LOT to know about life as a military spouse. Mondays are my day to talk about the things I am learning, the new language, military news and current events. Sometimes I post encouraging videos, stories, and cartoons as well.


Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Title Tuesday: Live in the Bible

Welcome to  Title Tuesday, my favorite day of the week! This day is dedicated to book suggestions, news, cartoons, and reviews. I write this portion of my blog because I am a big believer in the motivational speaker Charlie Jones' quote which says, "You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I try to meet as many new people as possible and to read everything I can. This is my way of sharing that information with you. You can see a visual summary of the books I have reviewed for both adults and children over on my Facebook page. If you are interested in understanding my rating system for books you can read my Book Review Explanation here and What I Believe here. If you want to check out what I am currently reading or what I want to read next, friend me on Goodreads!

Thus morning on Title Tuesday I want to talk about something that is often overlooked in Christian communities. 

Reading is a wonderful pastime especially when you are reading personal development books and books that help encourage your walk with God. 

But, there is a caveat to that statement... 

You should only be reading those books if you are ALSO reading the Bible. A good rule of thumb is that if you want to spend an hour reading fiction then you need to spend an hour in the word of God first. I say to read the Bible first to ensure that you actually do the Bible reading. If you allow yourself to read the fiction or self development first and something comes up, it is east to brush off the Bible reading. I say this not to discourage people from reading secular or fictional texts but rather to encourage them to draw closer to God before doing anything else. 

Charles Spurgeon once wrote, "Visit many books, but live in the Bible." Nothing should be more important than spending time in the word of God every single day, even a really good book.

How do you make reading scripture a priority in your daily life?