Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Wife to Wife Wednesday: The Husband Bashing Edition

Good morning! Welcome to Wife to Wife Wednesday, the day that we discuss any and all issues relating to marriage. 

So, I realized that the title of my post may be misleading, after I wrote my post. We will not e bashing our husbands today. Instead I want to talk about why you shouldn't bash your husband. First though, lets start with some vocabulary. 

The thing a husband requires most in life is respect. All men across the board answer resoundingly that this is the desires of their heart. Dr. Emerson Eggerich talks about this extensively in his book Love and Respect. I honestly in the past I haven't put much stock in men's need for respect because frankly I didn't understand it. (In a lot of ways I still don't but having three men in my home is making me learn it in new ways!) We aren't going to get in to the issues of respecting your husband and the reasons why. I will save that for another day because it is a big topic that deserves its own post(s). Today I am going to assume that everyone still readying this post is a Christian and takes the command in Ephesians 5:23, to respect your husband,  seriously. 

That is all great and wonderful, but back to the vocabulary. 

Why am I using the word bash?

From what I have seen in my four years doing in home ministry most Christian women at least attempt to be respectful of their husbands, when the husband is present. Only a few times have I seen a wife seriously disrespect her husband publicly and most of those times were enacted by new wives who were unaware of the husbands need or they simply didn't understand that what they were doing was disrespectful. Again, we are not talking about them today. 

Today, I am talking about things said negatively about husbands when they are not in the room. When I was brainstorming with some trusted friends about my writing recently, my friend Anna requested that I tackle this subject. My friend specifically mentioned husband bashing and Facebook. Honestly it wasn't something that I was super in tune with until after she mentioned it and then I saw it more often than I could believe. 

In most situations, I don't believe that these women set out to intentionally be disrespectful, but they splash their lives all over the Internet and they are not discrete about their husbands shortcomings, or worse, they highlight them! That is why I am using the word bash. They aren't being outright ugly, but they are doing damage and they don't realize it.

"But Morgan," they say, "It was a joke! It was funny, lighten up!" This is where I will refer back to scripture. Titus 2:7 says, "In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness". I don't believe that making fun of your spouse on the internet is a good idea. You would (hopefully) never walk in to your husband's place of business and talk about what a loser he is, so why do you put it on Facebook? I think it is a slippery slope from "teasing" to complaining about your husband and therefore undermining your marriage. 

So in conclusion for today, before you post on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever else think twice. Is what your posting honoring to your husband, to your marriage? Would you feel comfortable saying to a group of your husband's colleagues with him in the room? If not, don't post it. Protect your marriage and protect your witness.    


3 comments:

  1. Good word! Using social media to bash anyone and to air our dirty laundry is so distasteful and certainly not a good witness. I was just thinking the other day about how our social media feeds are a good reflection of our witness to the world, for good or for evil.

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  2. Very wise advice, and I totally agree that we need to be very mindful about respecting our husbands at all times, and especially on social media.

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