As evidenced by my sometimes gushy articles, I got married three months ago (YAY!) to the most wonderful man. B has been incredible these last few months as I make the transition from single teacher to married homemaker. In the last three months I have had a chance to make a lot of mistakes and learn a lot of lessons. I have decided to chronicle those lessons in Wife to Wife .
Today is my first attempt… here we go!
Franz Schubert said, “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” I was not a good friend to my husband recently; in fact I was downright mean.
It was an evening after we had finished training. B had taken off of his wedding band and put it on his dresser while he showered. I walked by the dresser and saw his ring. As I picked it up, I looked at my own wedding band. The smooth lines and the beautiful design my husband had made for me still takes my breath away. As I stood there comparing the two rings I was shocked. There were scratches, dings, and places where the coating had been removed. My husband’s ring was a wreck!
I was so mad at him! Why wasn’t he taking care of his ring? Doesn’t he value it like I value mine? Doesn’t he know what our rings symbolize?
By the time B got out of the shower I was fuming. I continued to be mad at B through the night and in to the next day. When I met with my friend Celine the next day she gently rebuked me. She pointed out that my husband deadlifts 365lbs, he builds farmer carry handles (to work out with) he repairs things in our home, he lifts, carries, and moves supplies with his soldiers, all while wearing his wedding band.
While she was saying these things the thought occurred to me, B’s ring doesn’t look like that because he doesn’t value it. It looks that way because he does. B’s ring is scratched and dinged up because he never takes it off. I take off my wedding ring when I do dishes or paint because I do that in the home. B wears his wedding ring at all times because he isn’t in the home.
This was a huge lesson to me. I knew B and I were different. Our friends tease that he is the big rough one and I am the soft gentle one, but seeing our wedding rings reinforced it. Now that I understand it, I am so thankful for the honor my husband shows me by always wearing his wedding band and honoring the commitment that we made before our friends and God.