Let me set the scene for you:
4:15 Wake up
4:20 Quiet Time
4:55 Get ready for work
5:50 Commute to work
7:00 Prep my classroom
8:00 Kids come in
3:00 Kids go to after school care
3:00 Clean and Reorganize Room
4:00 Commute home
5:30 Physical Training
6:15 Work on lesson plans/grade papers/clean out whatever the kids put in my pockets today.
8:00 Hang out with the roommate while I work on a project.
This as about what my day looks like if there is absolutely nothing else going on. Now add in volunteer work at the rape crisis center, babysitting for friends so they can have time to work out marital problems, Bible Studies, baby showers, and family issues. It gets a little crazier but it is still manageable.
Finally, toss in the end of the school year, graduation, the start of summer camp (I will be teaching the 3rd,4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th grade kids) my impending move, and wedding preparations.
Suddenly not so manageable.
Today I went to the grocery store to pick up some necessities. While in the store, my phone rang three times. None of the calls were the people that I wanted to call. I reached into my purse to get my list (for the hundredth time) and found a drawing one of my kids made for me a couple of days ago. I walked over towards the squash, determined to get control of myself. I picked up an acorn squash (my favorite!) and it was really REALLY soft, rotten.
All of the sudden, it was just too much.
Standing in the middle of the produce section with a rotten acorn squash in hand I began to cry. This was not like a single glistening tear rolling down my face kind of cry either. This was a SOLID cry. I looked over at my basket of items and looked at the squash in my hand again. A young man working in the store came over and put his hand on my arm. "I've got this" is all he said. I put the acorn squash down and walked out.
I drove home and crawled into my bed with my Bible. I turned to one of my favorite verses and cried some more. (I seem to do a lot of that right now...) Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." I am worn out. I am running on empty, but it is ok. I can go to Jesus and set my burdens down. He can take them. Even in the middle of what I think is a crazy, disorganized mess, God is in control. In Him, I can rest.