My last day of work was on Friday. It was bittersweet. After leaving my job for the last time I drove to the airport to pick up my fiancé. B has been gone most of the month of June doin training. He is in the army and I am getting used to the army lifestyle (more on that subject to come). After I picked up B we drove his car and my car packed full of all my belongings and headed south.
When we got to Killeen I was overwhelmed. I had just left behind the kids I had spent the last year pouring into. I left my friends and family. Driving into Killeen I started making a list of all the things I need to get done this week. It looked like this:
1.) move into new house
2.) help B clean and close up his old house
3.) check out the new wedding venue (yes we had to change our wedding location a week from the wedding!)
4.) unpack and organize the new house so we can receive out of town guests there.
5.) B has what is called an organization day with his unit on Wednesday, and we need to be there.
...and it goes on from there.
Needless to say, I was a little overwhelmed. B had PT early this morning. So Iam at the house early to get as much done as possible. But i just couldnt focus. My heart was not in the right place. Then I got to thinking about this weekend. When B asked a simple question I snapped at him. When our plan for the day broke down due to circumstances beyond our control, I lost my temper. I was not behaving in a way that was honoring or respectful to him because I felt out of control.
Standing in the middle of a kitchen full of boxes God convicted me of the poor choices I made this weekend. I needed to ask forgiveness from God, and from B. I pulled out my Bible and my prayer journal. The verse for today was Psalm 16:11 which says,"You will make known to me the path of life ; In Your presence is fullness of joy ; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever." God has this, even if I don't. God has given me exactly what I can handle. I need to trust Him and remember that even if I drop it, He is there.