Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Divorce Kids

"A divorce is like an amputation, you survive it but there is less of you."
---Margaret Atwood

Divorce is such a common word today. It is discussed in politics, world news, and casually over coffee with friends. This word is thrown around as if it were nothing. The removal of a spouse from your life is treated as nothing at all.

There was a time when divorce was a horrible word, when being divorced was something to keep quiet. Those days are gone. Today divorce is the norm. People are so used to it that it doesn't hurt them to hear that so-and-so are getting a divorce. This astonishes me. My heart breaks to hear of people divorcing. Many people will assume that it is because I am in a relationship now and I have on my rose colored glasses, but that is not the case.

I am a child of divorce and not just once. My parents divorced when I was very young. One parent remarried. The other went on the be married six times more before I turned 25. I know divorce.

There is a special kind of awkwardness reserved for the children of divorce. This awkwardness is not something that is often discussed. If divorce is like an amputation for the parent imagine what it is like for the child. Divorce is not just dad moving out. It is the destruction of your world. Your family is ripped at the seams and you have no control.

Eventually most parents remarry. The remarriage process is difficult for kids in the best of circumstances, much less if there is are any issues. The new family that is formed is difficult to manage, it can be like walking through a minefield if you are not very careful.

So why am I writing about this? I think the church needs to step up. Divorce has become so acceptable that we no longer are willing to speak up. I don't know if we are paralyzed by the fear of being ostracized of if it is just contempt but it is unacceptable. We need to stand up together and stop our hiding. We were not called to hide in the shadows while the world crumbles to pieces.

We are called to be the hands and feet of Christ. We need to reach out to those impacted by divorce, that is absolutely true. But we also need to work of preventing the divorce from happening in the first place. This is more than just a "marriage retreat" once a year. This is about helping men and women to pour into their marriages. This is about working to reestablish the understanding of what marriage is and why that fight is worth the effort. Divorce doesn't just impact mom and dad, it has rippling consequences that stretch out for a generation, maybe more. We need to work for the body of Christ to pursue and develop godly marriages that will last a lifetime, and bring glory to God's kingdom.

1 comment:

  1. Great challenge for the church to step up! I agree - and as part of the body of Christ I think that I should do more.
    That is why I have been doing a weekly series on Encouraging Godly marriages on my blog as I do think it is so important to be on the offense rather than the defense.

    God does truly hate divorce and we need to realize that it is very, very serious!


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