Tuesday, January 29, 2013

More Than A Mommy....


         I am an educated, ambitious, passionate young woman…. and I want to homeschool my children.

         I recently had a very difficult conversation with a person who greatly impacted my life. This person has acted as an adviser, a friend, and a pseudo-parent when mine weren’t there.  But, this week I had a strong disagreement with him over my chosen future.

         My friends and  family who have known me the longest seem to have the greatest issue with my choice. They can’t seem to wrap their minds around this idea. Kids are still a ways off, but I thought that having these discussions might help them to understand the choices that I am making now, and why I am making them. (Like not pursing a PhD just to prove that I can.) The exact comment that was made to me was that this person “thought that I wanted more for my life than that.”

         Ouch.

         I love to be in school. There is something wonderful about researching, developing, and proving your argument.  I love to learn. Wandering around a used bookstore is one of my favorite ways to spend an afternoon.

         However, I grew up in a very broken family. My mom and dad divorced when I was very young.  We kept up the pretense of him being involved in our lives but he moved away and started a new family. Soon every other weekend turned into every other month and by the time I got to college it was once a year of every other year. My mom is in the middle of her seventh marriage. So, I didn’t have the greatest example of what a secular family is supposed to look like, much less a Christ-centered family.

         I am sort of a jack-of-all-trades-and-master-of-none kind of person. I can do a little bit of everything at an acceptable level. There was no lightning bolt or burning bush that said, “ok Morgan, it is time for you to go to law/vet/medical school!” Instead I just kind of wandered along. I got my degree as fast as I could. I went to grad school because I was told I wasn’t smart enough for it. I did well at both things, but when I went to sleep at night I didn’t feel fulfilled. I was just meandering through life.

         So how did I go from wandering through life chasing worldly success to homemaker?

         After I accepted Christ as my savior I started thinking about my life purpose. Why am I here? What did God design me to do? One of my team members had me draw a figure like this one and fill in the blanks.
  
         The circles say experiences, abilities, and passion.  Experiences are the things that you have done in your life. These are the positions, opportunities, and relationships you have had. Abilities are your God given gifts; they are things that you have been trained to do and things that may just come to you naturally. Passion is what makes your heart sing? If you had a free day how would you spend it?

         So on the back of an IKEA napkin we drew this out and we started listing out the things that fit into each category. At the time, I wasn’t sure of where I was going or what I was doing so I listed everything. It was helpful for me to see it that way. So here are my answers as written:

         Experiences: after school aid , babysitter, bartender, broken home, bus boy(girl?), cater-water, daughter, dish washer, mission trip to El Salvador, nanny, personal assistant, restaurant manager, secretary, sister,  survivor, teacher, waitress.

         Abilities: a servant by nature, build lesson plans, care for multiple children at a time, detail-oriented, disciplined, gift for liberal arts (history/languages/music/art), hard worker, manage a restaurant, mix drinks, organize, structure, time management,

         Passion: If I have a free day I would want to spend it with my kids (this was when I was a nanny) or doing something productive. But if I can be totally honest, I am happiest when I am helping other people.

         Ok, so now I have a napkin covered in writing and I am no closer to knowing what I am supposed to do with my life. I put the napkin in my Bible and went about my daily business. Three weeks later my small group’s discussion was over the high calling of being a helpmeet to your husband and a mother to your children. The discussion lingered with me for days. That Sunday the sermon was on the Proverbs 31 woman and being diligent in working for your family. I got the message, loud and clear. But I couldn’t admit even to myself that God wanted me to be a homemaker.

         It wasn’t until I was talking with one of my team members that I was able to say out loud what my heart was screaming. I was sitting in her kitchen drinking tea and talking about what I was learning and studying when she looked up at me and said, “You know that there is nothing weak about admitting that you want a family, right?”

         My heart broke.

         I believe that God made me to be versatile. I will flourish in difficult situations or in the easiest of situations. There are some people who want to be doctors, when they think about it they get that rushing feeling in their chest, knowing that they are right where they belong. That is what I feel when I think about being a helpmeet for my husband and a mother to my children. I know that is what God has called me to do with my life. Sure, I could do other things and I will. But the primary purpose of my life is to raise up the next generation of godly Christians alongside my husband. So for now, I teach other people’s children. I try to model Christ-like behavior for them, and to be a light. But when the time comes, I will be ready to serve the kingdom of Christ by stepping out of the traditional “workforce” and working in my home instead.

          If you are struggling with feelings or doubt or if you are making a difference as a homemaker Check out the quote below.
        




        



6 comments:

  1. Well said, as always. When you examine your life in light of Christ, he teaches you things the world will not understand. You will find great joy as you follow him and have a family. I love that you are also having an impact on other children right now. Keep up the good work! It's so important. After all, look at how the worldview you learned early on is taking so many years to overcome and undo. What a gift you are giving to those who learn from you now about God's design, plans and power for our lives. To lead others to him is invaluable and will offer them a huge head start to going in the right direction.
    Liz

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  2. God knows exactly what children need which is why he gave us the job of being a helpmeet and mommy. There is no greater reward than having your child run up to you while you're doing the laundry or washing the dishes and squeeze your leg or have you bend down to give you a kiss and then run off to play. They love having you there. The same goes for older kids. The home is a safe haven and you are the keeper/guard of it. Balance, order, safety, and love. There is no greater job/duty/adventure than being a keeper of the home! John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease." Besides what other profession allows you to be a teacher, nurse, counsellor, vet, handyman, dishwasher, manager, maid, and chef all in one day! Blessings!

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  3. Thanks for your post, it is helpful and timely as always. My mother is on her 3rd marriage, and I was recently feeling very down about that. My stepfather is a great guy, and this is her longest marriage. I think she finally found the real thing. They have 2 beautiful children who are 8 and 9. They were born when I was 17 and then 18, and I love to spend every minute I can with them.
    Between me and the little ones, my mom and her second husband had 3 kids who are close to my age. We have an usual family, but we all love each other like "real" brothers and sisters, and I am so thankful for that.
    Thanks for encouraging me today. My past does not have to be my future.

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  4. Morgan
    I am a homeschooling mom who truly believes that this is a calling in my life from a very Great God! I want to encourage you today to not be afraid to be the woman God made you to be and you are right on in saying God gave you the experiences he gave you to utilize those times in connecting with others wherever they may be. I never thought I would be a homeschooling mom until I had a son of my own and this overwhelming pull on my heart to raise him myself not allowing another person to do that for me. Maybe I should preface that by saying I am not bashing moms who have to work and send their kids to daycare as my sister has been a single mom and had to do oust that. I am saying that what I felt God set me up to be was a homeschooling mom. Not all home school moms are alike but we are different based on our experiences. God creates the kids that we will be best for and he created us to be best for our kids. So again I just want to encourage you when that time comes and it will come! Do not let anyone question the desires God places on your heart but you must also know that with homeschooling there will always be those you encourage and unfortunately those who make you feel like you are crazy. Learning to recognize lies the enemy wants homeschooling moms to believe will only make your calling stronger. God's blessings to you! In His Grip, Darci Lindstrom: mother of two God loving strapping young men!

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  5. Hi Morgan, I have only just recently {this week) stumbled across your blog. I love it. You and I are very similar. I went to university and gained my degree {in history and English} but really only did it to prove I was smart {after going through high school that pushed the sciences}. Underneath, I always knew I would be married young and once I became a Christian, I knew all I wanted to do was be a wife, mother and homemaker. I too have come from a broken home and know what it's like to have to negotiate my life in the light of that. Thank God we have Him and His Word to guide us!

    You have a new cheerleader in me!

    Blessings, sister!

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  6. Hello, I just wanted to commend you! For as the world turns... nothing will be more needed then woman willing to serve and to love in the home. Most people have or are growing-up in broken homes. God will expand your heart and very well use your mind. You could even have your own buisness. The sky really is the limits, but Home is the sweetest and dearest place when Momma is home and Daddy can't wait to come home from his work to his family.
    Blessings, Roxy

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Morgan