I absolutely hate not knowing exactly what is going to happen in my world. I like to know each and every step, and when I don't I shut down and go into survival mode. Prior to accepting Christ in my life and even early on in my walk with Christ I spent a lot of time in survival mode, just trying to make ends meet. My favorite saying was "I can do anything for X amount of time". At first it was high school, then it was college, then it was grad school. Now I am pursuing my teaching certification. There are a great many changes coming my way in the next year or so and despite my faith I can feel that panic creeping up.
So what does that look like for me, a Christian woman?
I wake up in the middle of the night and I can't catch my breath.
I write and rewrite my to-do lists and goals.
I obsessively clean my house, because that I can control.
But you know what? It doesn't have to be that way.
Forever is composed of nows.
There is no need for me to worry about the future because God has a plan.
God has put people in my life that I can help, mentor, and disciple, right now. I cannot help them if I am crippled by fear about my future. Joshua 1:9 says,"Have I not told you? Be strong and have strength of heart! Do not be afraid or lose faith. For the Lord your God is with you anywhere you go.” It doesn't matter if I don't know exactly what the future looks like.