One of my mentors and I are going through Bible verse memorization program (you can find it here) and I have been thoroughly enjoying the process. At first I was treating it like a school subject. I planned out how to learn the verses, when I would study, and I really enjoyed checking off each verse as we went.
I wasn't really hiding the verses away in my heart, I was checking boxes. It was just memorization.
Today, I got to feel the real power behind having God's word tucked away in my heart.
I struggle with guilt. I allow this guilt to prevent me from reaching out to people, so instead I isolate myself. How could anyone possibly want to get to know someone with a past like mine? I feel guilt over past sins, past failures, and things that are not even mine to feel guilt over.
I struggled with guilt greatly this week. I was invited to a women's retreat this weekend and despite the fact that some of my closest friends are going to be there, I did not want to attend. I didn't want to attend because of the conversations that might happen.
What if they ask me questions about my past?
What if they want to talk about real stuff?
They won't want anything to do with someone like me.
As I was going through my contacts to call and say that I wasn't going, God brought something to my mind. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new is here!" There it is, written in the Word of God. I am a child of Christ. Sins of the past have been forgiven. I have been made new, the old me is gone.
I am going to the retreat this weekend, and I am going as a new creation in Jesus Christ.