Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Pornography for Women?

Today I want to talk about books. 

Cracking open a book unearths entire worlds, at your fingertips. I learn best through reading. I enjoy it immensely. I have a ridiculous amount of books. I am a complete and total bibliophile of the worst order. I read books about academics, Christianity, child development, and occasionally fiction.

Loving to read is a wonderful thing... if you are careful.

I went into a bookstore the other day that had romance novels listed as literature. Books about "love" and the knight-in-shining-armor are actually much more dangerous than they first appear.

So, why am I writing about romance novels? There is a great deal of "literature" out there now.  And I am going to call it for what it is: pornography for women. 

That statement upsets a lot of women. These same women usually tell me that romance novels and pornography are not the same thing. Their justification is that these books are just words. 

But you know what? For most women, words are the way to our hearts. Think about it and you will know it is true. Words lead to emotional connections, these can (and often do) cause women to wish for their husbands to be like the men in their books. Then they get upset when their men don't fulfill their fantasies.

And for someone who loves to read, it is easy to get caught in this trap. And I have, more than once. This trap is one that can and does affect you life. 

Beware of this trap. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."  Be cautious with what you allow into your minds. Make sure that it is good, acceptable, and perfect.


  1. LOVE this post. As another reformed feminist, I understand what you are saying. We do need to guard our eyes/hears so that we can guard our hearts. I have been in this trap before as well, when I was a new wife and my hubby didn't know I read those books. It was through wisdom and prayer that I figured out that I had to get rid of those books. He never saw me reading them, I only read them when he was "in the field"...aka Army Training. (He's Active Duty Army.) I kept them only for alone time when he wasn't there to talk with me. So YES they do affect us...dramatically. EXCELLENT POST!!!

    PS (you may delete this part if you wish): I have a link up party on Saturdays, Sweet Saturdays, on my blog
    Also I have a Facebook Page I would LOVE for you to share this on my page. I will be writing a post to link to this one because it's something that EVERY woman should hear.

  2. I am so glad to have found your blog! I completely agree with blog post! A long time ago I used romance novels in that way...and I found myself very unhappy with my life, and with the men I dated at that time. I have since stopped reading books labeled "romance novels" because they do nothing but make me an unhappy person. I do know there are regular novels which can be just as addicting as the romance novels. I am so grateful for christian authors who steer clear of sexual content and language in their writings!

    Blue Eyed Beauty Blog

  3. All I can say is Amen!
    Thank you for standing up for the truth.

  4. What do you do with a husband that always looks at porn and doesn't think it is wrong?

    1. I would say that you need to have a serious conversation with a neutral third party (religious official, counselor) if you find his behavior troubling or if it makes you uncomfortable.

  5. I don't think there is anything wrong with exploring sexy literature as long as your husband shares it with you. My husband and I have read 50 shades of Grey. We had a laugh. Had heaps of harmless fun in the bedroom. After 25 years variety is the spice of life. Have fun together and don't take things so seriously

  6. hmmm i get where you're coming from but not books that feature love involve pornographic text. perhaps you have read the wrong ones lol. I like them because they just make me smile. But then again I am single so could not compare characters to real people
    I am currently hosting a blog hop over at my blog

  7. I know what you mean--though, honestly, from the "romance" novels that I've read...they aren't tempting to me at all. Probably because I'm a bit too harsh of a critic and romance novels don't tend to be of the highest literary me, the real life romance stories I heard from friends and family...the stories how how God brought husbands and wives together in unexpected ways and helped them through trials of all shapes and sizes...those are the alluring, exciting stories. Because real life is so interesting, I'm happy to leave the flat, formulaic romance novels where all of the heroes and heroines sound exactly the same alone.

  8. I found you through the Monday Meet Up linky. I really like this post and definitely agree. For me, romance novels create a fantasy in my head. I'm a big time day dreamer and I've realized that romance novels and movies cause me to sin in this area. I have started to monitor what I read and watch. As an avid reader, I had never thought about it as being "bad" before. It wasn't until I really got in God's word and spoke to Him more in prayer that I began to feel this way. Thanks for sharing!

  9. I feel sorry for Anonymous who hasn't the clarity of thought to see that Fifty Shades of Grey glorifies the abuse and manipulation of women. Furthermore, it is geared towards the non creative, who lack imagination, and need props to supposedly spice up their marriages.


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