Friday, August 17, 2012

Back to School Part 2

So part two of back to school, I wrote before about wanting to educate my children at home and I got some very colorful responses. (Read Back to School Part 1 here!) Some were encouraging, others were not. I have said before that I want to educate my children at home. Ready for my confession?  

I am terrified, what if I can’t do it?

I am afraid of not giving my children the education that they deserve. What if I forget something? What if I don’t teach them fractions? What if I forget how to diagram a sentence? What if I leave out a battle in the War of the Roses? Will they be too attached to me? What if that makes them awkward and unable to interact with other people? 

Aside from these obvious questions, I have another fear: I am dyslexic. It is something that I quietly struggled with through middle school and high school. I have to read things two and three times to ensure that I read it correctly. When I write, I have to check multiple times to ensure that I didn't write anything backwards. I have to say that spell-check is a great thing for me! The little red line under my words lets me know when I am typing things incorrectly.  I also had a great teacher in college who helped me to figure out ways to work with and around my “learning disability”. (I really don’t like that term!) But, nevertheless, it is still something that I struggle with. What concerns me is, will my “learning disability” impact the quality of education that I can give to my children? 

I can teach in a classroom, no problem. I tutored other students when I was college. With students in the classroom, I could practice ahead of time what I was going to say, and how I was going to say it. I could rehearse in my mind how to spell things and how to say things. Plus I want to teach in the younger grades. With the younger kids it is not a big deal. You (usually) catch your mistake before they do, and even if you don't it is normally a simple fix. But what about when my children are in middle school and high school? Those were the years when my dyslexia caused the most problems. How am I supposed to teach my children Calculus when I read the problem backwards? What about Chemistry and Physics? As these thoughts raced in my mind I began to panic a little bit. I was even I was a little resentful. I was angry with God for placing this on my heart knowing my shortcomings. I mean really, how unfair is that? How am I supposed to teach my children when it takes me two or three attempts to spell a word correctly?

Then I got to thinking about it, and this might be exactly why I have dyslexia. I can understand struggling in school, and I can help children in a way that other teachers may not be able to. More so than that, I think my dyslexia may be a gift. I will not let this spirit of fear to prevent me from serving Christ in the manor that HE chose for me. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” My children will get to see me learn with them. They will see me succeed and they will see me fail. While I teach them spelling, they will learn a lesson in perseverance.While I teach them arithmetic they will learn a lesson patience. When I teach them about staying strong, they will have watched me work past my "learning disability" and  trust in God's ability to overcome any obstacle. 


  1. My parents home-schooled me K-12. They weren't perfect, and being the oldest, I got to try things first - including things that didn't work so well. However, I believe that I got a better education than any child who went to public school. Why? Because my parents tailored my education to my personality. I struggled with algebra so much that my parents dropped the curriculum, and concentrated on teaching me (math) skills I would need to get through life. The most valuable thing my parents taught me was how to keep learning on my own. Since graduating from high school, I have slowly been working my way through several courses, including a few math workbooks. :) I believe that any parent can home-school, especially when they lean on God to help them through it.

  2. You will be fine! I too, have struggled with learning challenges...and I have math anxiety :). This is our 3rd year homeschooling. I have noticed that the challenges I experience are getting better- because lets face it- we moms are in school again, with our children. I taught in a couple schools before we had children. I promise you that your daily attention to your children is more than they would receive from sitting in a classroom. Enjoy your children! Christ will strengthen you.

  3. You can do it! I was homeschooled till college, and my Mom homeschooled six more kids after me! And she didn't even finish college! My Mom says you learn as you go, and believes that she learned so much more her second, and third, and fourth, etc. time around as she was teaching her kids than she ever learned when she was in school.
    I think homeschooling is the best education available and I definitely plan to do it when I have kids.

  4. Hi Morgan! Here from Covered In Grace and now following. Homeschooling is an interesting topic and it seems like everyone has very strong opinons on it. We are in our second year of homeschooling and I have come to realize that we all educate our children at home. If some of our kids go to school for some of their lessons, and others are home for their lessons, this is really the only difference. You will be successful when you are called to do something. He will give you the tools you need and grow you more than you will realize. Blessings on your journey, come over and say hi!
    xoxo, Tanya

  5. Your humble and teachable attitude will help you - and your children - succeed! I hope you continue to share your experiences here. I am anxious to follow you on your adventure! Thank you for sharing on NOBH!

  6. You will be amazing! Just think about how many of the world's greatest inventors, thinkers and world-shapers were schooled at their kitchen table by candle light while momma rocked a baby or two! I've been a classroom teacher and a homeschooling teacher and not one is perfect. Thanks for linking up with us at No Ordinary Blog Hop. Every blessing, Kelly


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