Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Proverbs 31 Woman, Who Me?

Today we are going to back up a little bit. This sprig I started working on making myself a complete person. I have spent a long time just trying to survive, and ignoring everything else. So, I am going to backtrack a little bit to share my story. 

I am a researcher, that is what I do best. I like to have something to study in order to be able to get a clear understanding of what I am doing. Being fairly new to living an intentional and godly life, I needed role models that I could follow. I got on amazon and I bought the biographies of leading female missionaries and CEOs. (Little did I know all I needed was in my Bible!) All of the biographies and guidebooks quoted from the same portion of the Bible: Proverbs 31. So I cracked open my Bible. After having done some research I came to the conclusion that I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman! Here is Proverbs 31 so you can see exactly what the Bible says:

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV)
10 A wife of noble character who can find? 
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value. 
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands. 
14 She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy. 
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

WOW! What a woman. I want to be a woman like that. She is clothed in strength and dignity, whereas I am usually holding on by my fingertips. She works hard: she provides food for her family, she makes her own clothes, she even runs her own small business on the side. Her husband praises her and her children call her blessed…. I pray that my family will feel that way about me one day!

The more that I got to thinking about these verses the more frustrated I got. I was NOWHERE near being the Proverbs 31 woman. So I started one of my favorite activities…. list making! I made a list of all of the Proverbs 31 woman’s attributes that came to mind when I read each verse, one word per verse. Next, I went through with my bright pink highlighter and marked the ones that I thought a person could legitimately call me. Here is my list:

Admirable, Blessing, Considerate, Domestic, Economical, Faithful, Gardener, Homemaker, Industrious, Joyful worker, Kind, Linen maker, Meticulous, Noble, Obedient, Prepared, Quiet Spirited, Responsible, Steady, Trustworthy, Unspoiled by the World, Virtuous.

My general thought process...
I marked four, and then I sat down and cried.There are words on that list that I may one day achieve, but then there is a whole different issue. How am I supposed to be a Proverbs 31 woman when there are things on that list that I don’t know anything about? As a forgiven former feminist I fully bought into the whole don’t do anything domestic thing. She is more than domestic. She is a homemaker, she makes her own clothes, and she works joyfully for her family. I had a hard time doing my own dishes and laundry on some days. How could I possibly work joyfully for a family? I didn’t cook and I didn’t sew. I cleaned, but mainly because I am a neat-freak, not because of a desire to joyfully serve my home.

Suddenly my desire to be a Godly woman felt extremely overwhelming. Did I really think I could do this? Who was I to think I could be a Proverbs 31 woman? I couldn't even boil water at this point. I had no idea how to begin to be like this woman. 

So I went to my team members (more about them here) and cried some more. My team members were pretty fantastic. Amid my sea of tears and emotional confession of a fear of all things domestic, I got the encouragement I needed. Kerrie told me to breathe deep, and make a list of what I wanted to achieve. Mrs S. told me that I could do it, and that she would help me get there. Mrs. F. told me that if I could get through my undergrad in three years, I can learn to do a lot more than boil water.

Through their love and encouragement, I became less discouraged and even a little bit brave. I decided to take on homemaking, I have been writing it down as I go and I will be posting success and failure stories soon.  This has been an interesting journey, but I am keeping Philliipians 4:13 in mind, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength"


  1. I just stumbled upon your blog and have subscribed to your posts! We are so much alike, except it took me three years of marriage and a baby to realize these things. I used to be a hard core feminist, I think college made me that way. Why should I cook my husband dinner every night? Why should I be the one to take care of the baby 24/7? Mine was more of a complaint, feel sorry for me, boo hoo kind of thing though. Then a friend stumbled upon this post... and shared it with me. By the end of it I was bawling my eyes out. One should do these things out of love for their family. I totally agree with a home being a safe haven from all the chaos of the world. That is how I felt growing up. I can't wait to read the books you have suggested and get back into reading the Bible again. Thanks so much =)

    Sarah @ Our Family of Three

  2. What a great blog you have! I too am a "recovering feminist," but I admit it is quite a struggle. I like what you did, listing the qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman and highlighting those that apply to you. I especially like that you highlighted them in pink :) I think I will try this idea out.
    Stop by my blog sometime

    I am adding you to my Google reader :)


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